Sexual safety - Relationship violence
Abuse in relationships
Abuse in relationships is never OK. What you can do ...
- You have the right to have control over your own body
- You do not have the right to have control over someone else’s body
- Physical and sexual assault are crimes
- Someone who loves you helps you feel good about yourself.
- Everyone deserves respect
- There are no excuses for abuse
What are the signs of relationship violence?
Beware of the danger signs:
- Sexual abuse: Is when they do sexual things to you that you don’t agree to, such as for you to have sex.
- Jealousy and isolation: Is when they cut you off from your friends or freak out when you talk to other people.
- Aggression: Is when they yell and shout at you, use physical violence, get into a lot of fights with other people, use violence to solve problems.
- Put downs: Is when they put you down, call you names, make you feel stupid, make sexist comments, comment negatively on your physical appearance.
- Control: Is when they check up on you – where you are and who you’re with, threaten or force you to do things you don’t want to do, don’t let you make your own decisions.
If any of these things is happening to you on a regular basis, you may be in an abusive relationship.
Relationship abuse is not a one-off event. It’s a cycle and usually gets worse if nothing is done to stop it. You need to remember it’s not your fault – abusers are responsible for their own behaviour.
If you are in an abusive relationship the best thing for you to do is end it. This may be tough and you may need help.
How can I get help?
- Find support from people who care about you.
- Contact your nearest Stopping Violence Service on 0800 4SVSSVS (0800 478 778).
- Go out in groups not alone for a while.
- Carry a mobile phone or phone card and phone numbers of support people.
- If possible have enough money on you that you can get yourself out of a difficult situation.
- Arrange your own transport.
- If necessary, get a trespass order from the Police (to keep the abuser away from home, work or school).
Remember: saying ‘yes’ to sex once does not mean you have always have to say ‘yes’.
How can I get help if I am harassing or abusing someone?
If you are doing any of these things on a regular basis – YOU NEED HELP. If you want to change your behaviour – with help, you can. To talk to someone from your nearest Stopping Violence Service, phone 0800 4SVSSVS (0800 478 778). Remember, nothing is so bad you can’t talk about it.
