Relationships - Relationship abuse
Relationship abuse cycle
Relationship abuse is not something that happens only once. It’s a cycle and it usually gets worse if nothing is done to stop it. If you are being abused, it is not your fault. Abusers are responsible for their own behaviour.
What is relationship abuse?
Relationship abuse can be emotional, it can be physical or it can be sexual.
Emotional:
- Name calling
- Threatening
- Humiliating
- Blaming
- Insults
- Put-downs
- Isolating from friends or family
- Ridiculing
- Intimidating
- Excluding
- Controlling
- Pressuring
- Extreme jealousy
- Destroying property
- Injuring pets
Physical:
- Putting a person in danger
- Pushing
- Slapping
- Hitting
- Punching
- Kicking
- Hair pulling
- Choking
- Burning
- Using a weapon or other object to harm
Sexual:
- Pressuring someone into having sex – this could include touching, kissing, fondling, or sex of any kind
- Being forced to pose for sexual pictures or to look at pornography
- Being “loaned out” for sex
What is rape?
Rape is when a man penetrates another person (male or female) with his penis and without their consent. It is a crime. If someone forces you to have sex and you didn’t want to this is sexual assault or rape. Even if you know the person it is still assault or rape. You may even like the person. This is sometimes called date rape.
Who can help me if I’ve been raped or sexually assaulted?
If something has happened to you that has made you feel bad and you haven’t told anyone, it is important that you do talk to someone about it. Sometimes people who have been abused feel guilt, but it’s never their fault.
A close friend or an adult can help you contact one of the organisations that help people who have been sexually abused or raped. You could talk to a school counsellor or someone at a Family Planning clinic.
You can also contact one of these organisations:
- Rape Prevention Education www.rapepreventioneducation.org.nz
- Youthline www.youthline.org.nz Phone 0800 37 66 33
Rape and sexual assault are criminal offences. This means that if you are charged and found guilty of either, you can go to prison.
