Sexual orientation and gender identity - Sexual Orientation
Sexual Orientation
Sexual Orientation means who you are attracted to. You do not choose your sexual orientation, it is simply a part of who you are. Here are some words and meanings that are often used when people talk about sexual orientation:
- Heterosexual someone who is attracted to people of the opposite sex.
- Bisexual someone who is attracted to people of both sexes.
- Homosexual someone who is attracted to people of the same sex as themselves.
- Asexual someone who does not experience significant sexual attraction; someone who is not sexually attracted to either men or women.
- Takataapui (also Takatāpui) is an intimate companion of the same sex. This word describes gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex, same-sex attracted and questioning Māori. It both affirms their Māori identity and the diversity of their sexuality.
- Gay someone who is homosexual. This used to refer to both men and women but is now more commonly used for men.
- Queer this word used to be an insult. Now it is used by people with pride because it includes a whole lot of things including: lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, fa’afafine and takataapui.
- Questioning someone who is figuring out their orientation or gender identity but hasn’t yet go all the answers.
- Lesbian this word describes homosexual women.
- FTM/F2M (Female to Male) Some born into the body of a female who identifies as male.
- MTF/M2F (Male to Female) Some born into the body of a male who identifies as female.
- Fa’afafine a Samoan word for someone born into the body of a male who identifies as female.
Sexual behaviour and orientation
Your sexual orientation (who you are attracted to) may not fit perfectly with your sexual behaviour (what you do sexually). There are many different things that shape how we behave sexually such as:
- Peer pressure
- Family expectations
- What is considered okay in our community
- Cultural or religious beliefs
- Curiosity about a person or about a type of behaviour
All those labels and definitions make it all sound pretty simple but often it’s not that clear or easy. How we feel can be complicated and lots of people don’t feel like they fit neatly or comfortably into those boxes. So if you don’t feel that any of them quite fit how you’re feeling that’s ok, a lot of other people feel that way too. What’s important is figuring out what feels right for you. It might help to remember that you don’t have to have all the answers right now.
How we feel and who we are attracted to can also change. Sexual orientation can be fluid. It can change over time. Some people also take a while to figure out how they feel. That doesn’t mean that someone “grows out of” their sexuality or that one set of feelings was a stage, it just means people change sometimes.
People also tend to focus a lot on the physical acts of sex when they’re thinking about this, but that is only one part of it. Relationships – straight, gay, bi, queer, whatever – are more than about sexual activity. People in same-sex relationships also value intimacy, and feelings of connection and love, just like people in opposite sex (“straight”) relationships.
If you think you might be gay / lesbian / bi / queer and want to know more, or get some support check out the sites below:
