SAME SEX

1. How do I tell my family and friends that I am gay?

If and how you tell them is up to you. You don't have to do it alone and it is a good idea to seek support for yourself. You could ask a friend/partner, or you could seek support from a group or agency. Rainbow Youth in Auckland or Youth Health Service can provide support and advice. Ring around until you find a suitable service/support group near you.

2. I am with a wonderful guy but lately I have been thinking of this woman at work. Does this mean I am a lesbian?

Thinking or fantasising about somebody does not necessarily mean that you are attracted to them. If you are attracted to a person of the same sex as you, it doesn't mean you are gay, lesbian or bisexual.

It can be a confusing time trying to work out your sexual orientation. It is common for many people to question this at some stage in their life. You might want to seek support for yourself from someone you trust. You could ask a friend/partner, or you could seek support from a group or agency. Rainbow Youth in Auckland or Youth Health Service can provide support and advice. Ring around until you find a suitable service/support group near you.

3. I found my partner wearing my clothes, does that mean he is gay?

No, sexual orientation and cross-dressing are totally different issues. Being gay is about being attracted to people of the same sex as yourself. Wearing clothes of the opposite sex could be about many different things. The only way you will know is to ask. Consider how you go about asking as he may be quite embarrassed.

4. A couple of weeks ago my best friend slept over at my house. During the might we gave each other blow jobs. I don't think I'm gay, but does this mean I am?

No, sexual experiences with others of the same sex will not mean you are gay or cause you to be gay. You might be, but this is not how you know for sure. 

Being gay is about being attracted to people of the same sex as yourself emotionally, sexually and physically.

It can be a confusing time trying to work out your sexual orientation. It is common for many people to question this at some stage in their life. You might want to seek support for yourself from someone you trust. You could ask a friend/partner, or you could seek support from a group or agency. Rainbow Youth in Auckland or Youth Health Service can provide support and advice. Ring around until you find a suitable service/support group near you.

5. I am a guy and I have been with my boyfriend for over two years now. I recently started a new course and there is this woman there who I am attracted to. I can't stop thinking about her. I always thought I was gay, but could I be wrong?

Being attracted to someone or fantasising about them does not mean you want to be with them. Many people have fantasies. They do not effect your sexual orientation.

Trying to work out your sexual orientation can be confusing so it might be a good idea for you to seek support from someone you trust. You could ask a close friend, family member, counsellor or support group. Check your phone book for a suitable service or support group near you.