Sections   | Anatomy | What Happens?

What Happens?

Often when people talk about 'having sex' they mean 'sexual intercourse'. But there are many things that people can do to give each other pleasure other than sexual intercourse e.g. touching, kissing, licking and stroking each other's bodies.

Many people enjoy kissing and sucking each other's genitals (oral sex). Some people like stroking and rubbing each other's genitals, this is called mutual masturbation.

For many people these ways of giving pleasure are just as satisfying as intercourse. And they give people a chance to learn what they like doing together.

The most common form of sex is between men and women. Some men like to have sex with other men. And some woman like to have sex with other woman. Some people enjoy having sex with either men or women.

Is 'gay' sex the same as 'straight' sex? Gay people can express their sexuality in almost all the same ways as straight people can. Good sex is about caring for one another and respecting each other's needs. Someone's sexual orientation is less important.

When a man and a woman decide to have sexual intercourse they can spend lots of time kissing and touching and rubbing each other. As a man gets sexually excited his penis becomes hard and erect. As a woman gets sexually excited her vulva becomes bigger and softer and her vagina becomes wet.

When they both feel ready his penis slides into her vagina and they move together so that his penis slides up and down inside her vagina. Her clitoris can rub against his body. Women often need extra stimulation of the clitoris; he or she can rub her clitoris during intercourse.

The sexual excitement can build up until one or both of them has an orgasm. When a man has an orgasm he ejaculates, which means semen comes out of his penis into her vagina. When a woman has an orgasm her vagina contracts in waves.

At orgasm sexual tension is released causing a feeling which can be mild or can send waves of intense pleasure through the body. People can have orgasms during any kind of sexual activity.

Two people having sex can both have orgasms at the same time, or one may have an orgasm before the other. Some women find it difficult to have an orgasm and sometimes one or both people may not have an orgasm at all. This does not mean they have not enjoyed it. People can still enjoy sex without having an orgasm.

If a man and a woman are having intercourse when the man ejaculates, and they are not using contraception the woman can become pregnant.

When a woman has sexual intercourse with a man for the first time, it may be uncomfortable and she may bleed when his penis goes into her vagina. This is because there is a very thin membrane or layer of skin called the hymen, which is just inside the opening of the vagina.

Every girl or woman's hymen is different. If a girl or woman has an unbroken hymen, it will break the first time she has sexual intercourse. But there are many other ways a hymen can be stretched or broken, like doing gym, using tampons, or while masturbating.

Feeling anxious or pressured, or not being excited or wet enough could also make intercourse uncomfortable. If intercourse continues to be painful after the first time, talk to an FPA doctor or nurse about it.

"Being Sexy by Yourself" - It's really common for people to explore their own bodies. They find that touching and rubbing their penis or clitoris and breasts feels good. This is called masturbation or self-pleasure.

Masturbation is a natural and healthy activity that people can do to enjoy their bodies, learn about where and how they like to be touched and how to have an orgasm. Some people masturbate to release tension or to relax. It's also a form of safer sex.

Having a good sexual experience with another person depends on a lot of things. What each of us needs will be different. People say that these things are important:

• Not being pressured
• Feeling safe
• Being turned on enough
• Trusting the person
• Using contraception and condoms
• Being sure you want to share yourself with that person.

Only you can decide what you will need for a positive and safe sexual experience.